Why Do You Wear Sunglasses

 "Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them…" ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Why do you wear sunglasses?

Strange question. I know. But one that surfaced for me recently while as I quickly put my sunglasses on. I was riding in the back of the car. All the windows were tinted. I wasn’t wearing them for the sun's glare.

In that moment my heart was feeling broken. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I did not want my fellow travelers to see.

I was taken back to other times in the past that I have used sunglasses to hide behind.

To hide the  bruises from being beaten. To hide the emptiness I was feeling. To keep myself from catching another person's eyes. To hide the despair that was left me suicidal. To hide the tears of rage, pain, grief, loss… and even lost hope. You name it. Even to hide the terror that stopped me in my tracks. I thought if I could just hide my eyes – the windows to my soul – that no one would see me and I could just disappear …incognito.

Of course that did not happen.

Even as a child I would use sunglasses to hide behind. When I  was alone I would take them off and look up at the sun, welcoming the sunshine into my body, willing it to burn away the pain that wracked it. Willing it to bring new life back to the areas that were numb from survival.- a body that was either numb or wracked with pain.

Somehow the sun was part of my survival, part of my hope. At the time I did not realize that it was my way of bringing to the light what needed to be seen and what needed to be healed.

Nature was my refuge. It was my safe place. It was the only place I felt like I had a right to exist. It was where I felt at home. It was just the elements: creatures, trees, earth and me. I felt  held there and welcomed. I fit in nature. And I did not mind being looked at in the eyes by the creatures of the jungle and forest. They understood me.

When it came to humans I rarely wanted to make eye contact – afraid of what I might be "inviting". And more afraid of what they might see. The rage, bitterness, anxiety, fear, powerlessness, shame… Afraid, too, of what I might see – disapproval, hate, indifference, cruelty, control, rage, disgust, contempt, self righteousness…

Eyes truly are the window to the soul.

As I have grown, so has my belief in my right to live a deeply fulfilling life. I have also been learning to trust myself. I have learned the healing power of allowing myself to be seen. To look into another's eyes. To be seen for who I am…. Really. And allowing for what I am feeling in the moment to be seen as well.

I have learned how to look with compassion and curiosity and receptivity. The same qualities that allow for true connection, belonging and love.

I am learning that being seen regardless of what I am feeling is powerful and it can allow for deeper connection, understanding, and healing (both with myself as well as with the other person).

I don't have to be that "perfect", non-feeling person anymore. I can be the person who feels deeply and know that there is perfection in just feeling – whatever it is. Being willing to experience that depth of feeling allows me to access heights of joy and ecstasy. All because I allow myself to feel.

When you hide your feelings, you store them away in your body. When these feelings stay hidden,  they become stories that resurface as pain and disease in all areas of your life, your relationships and your body. I know. I have been there.

I now use my experiences to guide my clients to unveil and heal the hidden stories in their bodies.

Because the body always reveals what we try to conceal. Always. By awakening the body and feeling through it, you can access feelings in a way that are empowering and life giving. But as long as you are hiding, your joy will be hidden too. I know. I have been there.

Sunglasses, for me, are now usually to stop glare when needed. And sometimes still to hide. But not nearly as often.

What do you hide yourself behind? Maybe it's not sunglasses. It might be your image or clothes. Your job or career. Your kids. Being on the stage. Your Illness. Your "Busyness".

I can help you unveil what you are hiding behind so you can let your light Shine. It’s a brave and powerful journey. I am here to support you and share with you, as I continue down the road myself.  It is my commitment to myself and to you to be seen.

Are you ready to let yourself be seen? Reach out if you are ready to really be seen for who you are, to embrace what you really feel, and to drop the sunglasses. It’s brighter on the other side. Give me a Call at (336)-623-9138 or email me at teresalea@intouchinlife.com 

Life. It's all about Me. And You. And it's about taking off the sunglasses and filters that keep you hiding and keep you from fully being In Touch with your body and your feelings and being fully In Touch In Life.