The Expressions of Fear Part 2 – Freeze or Faint

Are You Freezing or Fainting?

Yesterday I began to talk about being in the grip of fear when in survival mode. And that fear shows up in 4 ways: Flight, Fight, Freeze and Faint.

These responses from our nervous system help us deal with the unknown and are essential when used in healthy ways. However, it is common to get stuck in one of these as a way of being in avoidance. Life then gets put on hold and often becomes chaotic.

Today I will discuss the Freeze and Faint response to Fear.

Freezing is avoidance because it literally immobilizes you. There is a sense of being frozen, confused, your breathing often will almost stop and it will feel like you cannot move. If you tend to do this when feeling fear it is helpful to change positions and if possible move or stretch. Taking deep centered breathes are important as well. All these are helpful to get connected to your body and to get present.

Fainting shows up sometimes as confusion and sometimes as spaced out or just plain goofy at inappropriate times. I often hear people who do this describe it as "not being in their bodies" or lightheaded. Essentially it is a form of "spacing out" in order to avoid feeling fear. I did this in order to make light of the my deeply painful experiences as a child. It was a way to not feel or face what was really going on. Creating a physical sensation is important for Fainters to get reconnected with their bodies so that they can feel again and feel safe in feeling.

Where have you been freezing or fainting in your life? Please let me know by commenting below. I'd really like to hear.

Tags: avoidance, faint, freeze
Posted in Healing, Trauma Resolution | 1 Comment »

The Expressions of Fear Part 1 – Fight or Flight

Do You Fight or Flee?

When you are in survival mode you are in the grip of fear. Yes. You read that right. Fear. You might not recognize it as fear, but never-the-less it is still fear.

And fear shows up in 4 ways: Flight, Fight, Freeze and Faint.

These are all actually good responses from our nervous system that help us deal with the unknown. However, when we get stuck in one of these we are in avoidance and our life then gets put on hold and often becomes chaotic.

In this post I will discuss the Flight and Fight response to Fear.

Flight is a form of avoidance. It can show up as:

• Addictions,

• Withdrawal from others or life,

• Creating a distraction, focusing on others at all cost….

• Anything that creates distance from whatever it is you may be afraid of or that is making you really uncomfortable.

When a person is in flight mode they are not present. If you tend to go into flight mode you can most benefit  from learning to just stand your ground. This means learning to say NO when you need to. It also means learning to make a conscious request of what you really want.

Fighting too is a form of avoidance because it doesn't always take into consideration the whole experience. It often uses anger as a defense instead of as a way to clearly define boundaries. This keeps you from being able to really express what is going on clearly. If you tend to go into fight mode, learning to use your anger as a tool do define and communicate clearly what you need is essential.

Tomorrow I will share how the Freeze and Faint Response to Fear show up.

Where have you been fleeing or fighting in your life? Please let me know by commenting below. I'd really like to hear.

Tags: avoidance, conflict, fear, fight
Posted in Anger, Healing | No Comments »

Accepting Life does NOT mean Giving Up or Giving In

You Can Choose to Accept Life or Avoid It

I often hear the phrase "It is what it is." Personally, I do not like this phrase as it often has a sense of giving up. The truth is more stated through "It was what it was." In the same respect, Accepting life is similar.

In yesterday’s blog I talked about moving out of avoidance of life to being able to face life. That is where acceptance comes in. Accepting life, in this case, is about harmonizing with life.  It's about not only facing life situations head on but then integrating what you are facing in a way that creates understanding and the opportunity to choose consciously.

When you accept and face your feelings they no longer have control of your life. You can begin to accept and face what you feel and use the feelings as a discovery tool to know the truth and acknowledge what it is you are missing in or really desiring in your life.

Each feeling has value and a message for you.

When you are in avoidance of feeling, or stuck in a feeling, you put your life on hold and deny yourself the happiness that is available for you.

When working with my clients, I guide them to face their fears of not feeling safe to feel and live through their body. Through gentle and non invasive methods a discovery happens that allows them to reclaim their lives and live purposefully and with passion.

What feelings have you been avoiding and why?

Please let me know by commenting below. I'd really like to hear.

You and Your Choices Matter. And You Have Value!  Face your fears and let yourself feel! It's all about You and it's about being In Touch In Life.

Tags: acceptance, avoidance, choice, fear
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Are You Avoiding Life?

Avoiding Life or Facing Life?

Did you know that memory is created through feelings? Life is experienced through our senses and feelings. And if you shut yourself down to feelings you shut yourself down to life and remembering it. Even something as simple as this. Do you remember what you ate for dinner 2 days ago? How about what you were doing at 6 PM two Saturdays ago?

Here are some ways not being connected to your feelings may show up:

• If there is not an emotional connection to your experience of life, You may not be remembering as well as you'd like.

• You may be finding that you aren't as happy and creative as you would like to be.

• If the emotional experience is extremely high then you may shut down from feeling in order to feel safe.

• You may find yourself stuck in a particular emotion such as anger, worry, or grief (I know this from experience).

If any of the above are showing up, it is highly likely that you are in avoidance of Life and taking the position that life is happening TO you. And whenever you are in avoidance there is something you're afraid to face. It could be a feeling that you have been having. It could be a experience from the past. It could be somewhere in your life where you don't want to face the truth or where you are not following through on your commitments.

By looking at these areas of your life head on and facing them you have the chance to move out of avoidance and begin to really live your life.

What are you avoiding in your life? Please let me know by commenting below. I'd really like to hear.

Tags: avoidance, commitment, fear, feelings, memory loss
Posted in Trauma Resolution | No Comments »